Our committee member Joe Lonn gets up close and personal at Millk Medi Spa

A Bear Gets Bare

Article by Joe Lonn

As bears, we are proud of our body hair. Our admirers love it too! But sometimes, unwanted hairs sprout up in what we may consider undesirable places. I recently booked a treatment online and took a visit to Millk Spa on Oxford Street, close to Stonewall Hotel, to get some of those “undesirable” hairs waxed away. Millk is a Bear Benefit partner and with your HCB Membership Card, you can get 10% off of their services.

I’m sure some of you are curious about what I got waxed. And, don’t worry it wasn’t a full body. (I made that decision once when I was a competitive swimmer and it was the worst decision in my life.) Today’s visit is just for my nose and balls. It’s an odd pair, I agree. I get my nose done because trimming with scissors doesn’t cut short enough and the hairs always seem to grow too fast. Plucking, on the other hand, hurts and always makes me tear up. I get my balls done because… Well, who wants to suck on hairy balls? I like to think it’s a courtesy.

Anyway, the people are Millk are super friendly and very efficient. I get taken into a private room where I lay down on a padded bed to relax. Starting with the nose, the technician dips paddle pop sticks into wax, lets it cool a bit, and inserts it into my nose. They wait a few seconds for the wax to harden before swiftly pulling it out what feels like every single hair in my nose. Everything happens so fast and it’s remarkable how little it hurts. It’s the exact opposite of plucking individual nose hairs out with tweezers. Flash back to the hurt so bad I sneezed and teared up. It usually takes two tries on each side to remove the hairs from the front and back of the nostril. But that first clear breathe through your nose will amaze you.

Next, the pants come off.  I am not a bashful bear, and you don’t need to be either. I have been waxed by both men and women at Millk, and everyone keeps it professional. After spreading my legs, we start with cleaning up the taint area. Then begins the “cock and ball acrobatics,” moving and pulling the scrotum and shaft in myriad positions to tighten the skin and allow wax to be evenly spread. Side note: I always imagined the wax would be hotter, but it is a nice temperature on my delicates, and gives me a slightly kinky feeling. Also, be sure to plan ahead. With any genital waxing, it’s best to wait 24 hours before you get frisky. This helps to make sure the pores where the hairs were removed have time to close. The whole waxing process take around 15 minutes, and most of it is just waiting for the wax to harden enough for removal. To wrap the experience up, I get a nice cool eucalyptus lotion to spread over my bits. This helps keep the skin calm. (And softer than you would believe.)

Millk is an established beauty salon and Laser therapy clinic in Sydney, offering excellent service, medical grade skincare, a broad range of treatments and their very own exclusive line of cosmeceutical products. They have created a neutral relaxing environment so that men and women feel equally comfortable in the unique spa. Check them out online and make an appointment to get that hair you want gone, actually gone. And don’t forget your Bear discount!

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